Chinese wedding traditions were formulated by Nu Wa. Nu Wa is the goddess who created the Chinese tribe human beings. She lived in the world about 7000 years ago.
Nu Wa specified three rules, which are the core principles of Chinese wedding traditions.
This rule forbids marriage between a man and a woman having the same ancestor because otherwise their children are often deaf or dumb or idiot.
When a man and a woman match with each other by themselves without any matchmaker, their matching is mostly out of sex desire while considering very little about other issues. When their sex desire cools down, they often become aloof and detest each other. Such a way of matching is not able to form a stable and permanent family.
To resolve this problem, Nu Wa requires that when young people reach the age of getting married, each side needs to ask an elderly, respectable and reliable person among friends and relatives to be the matchmaker. Each side's matchmaker will consider the man and woman's age, appearance, character, ability, conduct etc and see if they really match with each other. If the matchmaker thinks ok, he/she will go to the other side to negotiate. Vice versa, the matchmakers are communicating on behalf of each side with the other side.
Communicating through matchmakers is very helpful in preventing marriage cheating. It helps to decrease the possibility of divorce.
Considering that males are physically stronger than females and it is easier for a man to provide life necessities to a woman and protect the woman than the other way round, Nu Wa set that rule that when getting married, the female will leave her parents and live together with her husband's family. So the husband plays a main role in the family. Nu Wa set this third rule in order to prevent the husband from looking down upon his wife. The man must give valuable gifts to the woman's family before the marriage, which means he is respectfully and sincerely inviting the lady to join him to host the family, serve the parents and look after the children instead of simply having the woman to satisfy his sex desire.
The original gift specified by Nu Wa were two pieces of deerskin, which were very valuable presents in primordial society.
The basic idea of Nu Wa was to let a man and a woman getting married form a fixed relationship living at a residence together and looking after their children and parents together.
Before Nu Wa formulated the above marriage principles, any man could have sex with any woman. There was no loyalty between the man and woman who had sex relationship. When a child was born, people did not know who the child's father was.
When retrospecting these early history, you will find that many modern people's casual concept on sex relationship is actually like the primordial state 7000 years ago before the marriage customs were formulated. The current state is not a positive development but a deterioration. When family, the basic unit of society, is not stable, the society won't be stable.
Go to top of page "Chinese wedding traditions"